Negative thoughts are not easily solved with positive thinking. Ignoring or pushing away negative emotions can sometimes even backfire. Instead, it's about connecting with the underlying emotions. Acknowledging these will help you understand the real source of your feelings.
But what do you do the moment you get stuck in an emotional pattern?
The answer lies in the shifting your 'state'. That doesn't mean you have to pretend everything is fine or think positive all the time. Everyone has negative thoughts and feelings, that's perfectly normal. What matters is how you deal with those emotions and not letting yourself get bogged down in them.
How can you do that? By changing your 'state'! Tony Robbins, one of the most influential coaches, has a simple but powerful model: the 'State Triangle'. This model helps you transform negative emotions by working on three key pillars:
- Physiology: Change your posture, breathing and movement. A simple adjustment in how you stand or breathe can directly affect your mood.
- Focus: Focus your attention on the positive and on what you can influence. Where your focus goes, your energy flows.
- Language/meaning: Pay attention to the words you use, both internally and externally. Use empowering language that energises you rather than limiting words.
Why does this work? Our brain is often trained to get stuck in negative patterns. This takes practice to break through, just like you train muscles in the gym.
By consciously choosing to replace negative thoughts within 90 seconds, you strengthen your mental resilience and develop a more positive mindset.
To try immediately: Where are you focusing your focus right now? And what would you like to focus it on?
Practical tips to change your 'state':
- Physiology: Stand up, look ahead, shoulders back. Start your day, for example, with a few minutes of dancing or a short workout to build energy. Think about your breathing. The fastest way to change your 'state'.
- Focus: Focus your attention on the present and what you can influence, rather than fretting about things beyond your control.
- Language: Pay attention to your choice of words, both to yourself and others. For example, substitute "have to" for "want to" and "difficult" for "challenging" or "not so easy". And "I'm going to try" for "I'm going to do it".
Small changes in your attitude, focus and language make a big difference. Even in challenging times, they help you develop a more positive mindset. Try it out and notice the difference!
Being stuck in an emotional pattern can be frustrating, but there is a way to break it. Would you like to exchange thoughts with me on how to shift your mind and develop a more positive mindset? Then schedule here schedule a free consultation with me, I would love to meet you.
English 
Dutch